Greed precedes decorum in all matters to do with money and or chocolates.

Never form an opinion about something that you aren't also prepared to change in a hurry down the road.

No matter how far up the ladder you are in a Corporate structure, somebody further up the ladder works at a much slower pace.

"Ah", the universal word for signalling that something very perplexing has just been solved.

There's no doubt about it, money is at the root of all loud noises.

Montana is an extremely interesting state. Between all the mountains, forests, cattle grazes, and big sky, there's hardly any room for people or towns.

To a Bubba, four on the floor refers to the holes in the family sedan. Not the pickup though.

The only chance it seems that some bureaucrats have in life to be powerful, is to be completely idiot in your face. And some of them seem to have a very powerful need to be powerful, income tax auditors being the exception.

The world gets bigger and smaller at the same time.

There's no getting around it, when you're down for the count you're out of the money.

There are only two types of really good looking men in the world, tall dark and handsome and short fat and rich.

They say mankind is a race of dreamers. Corporate or individual, men have been dreaming about instant wealth since time began. It's in the psyche. Today it's the instant lotto. Before that it was lost gold mines. Before that sunken treasure ships. Before that, a genie jumped out of a bottle and granted you three wishes.

Income Tax, the rent you pay for your store in the mall.

"Why not". Probably the one expression in the entire English language that most people would eventually like to take back.

What the heck, half a Cuban cigar is way better than none.

When in doubt, blame it on el nino.

The first applied principle in any kind of scientific experiment is to try something and see if anything blows up.

You should never try and punch out a guard the day before you get out of jail.

Ketchup is the undisputed hit man of the food chain. Ketchup will instantly nuke any flavor, anytime, anywhere, not a contest.

Way after the fact about anything, is the single most unavailing place in the world to eventually figure something out as the reason.

The lesson is, 'don't try and mess with authority'.

'The ground floor', the number one worst place on the planet you don't want to be on when it's coming in the direction of your money.

The law of entropy - energy in equals energy out unless you're stoned.

Whenever you try and save money on something, you will eventually end up spending a whole lot more.

All's well that ends well if you wait long enough.

As soon as anybody in the authority structure discovers that somebody is making money, they will find a way to stop it.

At 6:00 am every morning, LA is nothing but limos driving actors to early make up call.

If the right hand doesn't get you then the left foot will.

Buying stocks low and selling high is the single most difficult fiscal plan on the planet to implement.

Canada has at least been responsible for some good government over the years, despite its politics.

Creativity is a very commanding mistress.

Don't you love how everyone is always left wondering what their tax dollars are really doing when it involves anything that's publicly governed.

Economics, the boon or bane of one and all.

Ever notice how the fabled creatures of the planet all live in areas where no one can prove them out. For example, Lock Ness in Scotland is too deep to go down there. So of course that's where the ‘Lock Ness Monster' lives.

Some people are into cheeses, some into wines. I’m into food, you know like bread, milk, butter.

Nothing beats peer approval for spurring you on to greater things.

Every scientific discovery exists only until the next discovery comes along and blows it to smithereens.

Everybody's doing something.

Everything on the planet starts off looking pristine. It ends up looking run down. Look at any place that's at least three thousand years old for example.

Everybody teaches somebody something.

Spinach in your teeth is one of the things in life that goes off like clockwork when you're trying to make a good impression.

'Hmmm'. The number one favorite expression of scientists around the world when something interesting has suddenly occurred.

Good vibrations beget good vibrations, the primary lesson in life.

For the most part there's no such thing as a free lunch. Doesn't matter what side of the counter you're sitting on you eventually have to pay up. Which is of course the very backbone of modern religion.

Handy as hell ye little rational.

Render dandelions a devastating blow with your lawnmower and the next day 'they're back', tripled in number, showing no signs whatsoever of having just being torn to shreds. In fact they seem to thrive on it.

Happiness with the present, neuters the disappointments of the past.

High school principles and bosses are singularly alike in not understanding the importance of a good excuse.

Hindsight can be very depressing.

If you have enough monkeys at a typewriter, all typing for enough number of years, eventually two will type out the exact same recipe for a pizza.

Hollywood facades transcend all borders.

There’s nothing like a dash of odorono under the armpits for a quick saving of face.

How easily simple little things can trip you up when the brain isn't in charge.

For the sake of Humanity I hope that someday somebody comes up with a computer which does what you want it to do instead of just what you tell it to do.

Never die your hair when you’ve been drinking.

Don't you just love how consistent life is exactly when you don't want it to be.

If you are happy with the present, you have to accept the past no matter how irritating may have been the path that got you there.

Invasion of the Body Piercers – fans at a punk rock concert.

You all know who Bubbas are. When a Bubba sits down to eat, the dog backs slowly away.

If you can't trust your newspaper reporter, who can you trust.

Nothing ventured nothing gained is for sure a truism. But on the other hand it in no way guarantees there is a gain to be gotten.

Everybody is an expert in at least something.

I'm sure most people would love to have had a little more foresight before it became a whole lot of hind site.

I've finally reached that exquisite platform in life where I'm last on everyone's wait list.

A lump sum payment for anything, no matter how meager, always looks way more yummie than a strung out payment, no matter how robust.

"Ya gotta do what you gotta do", the number one rational for saving ego on the planet.              

If fasting means you haven't eaten for a month, is ‘slowing' when you've just finished a huge Thanksgiving dinner?

If only there was a crystal ball that had a chance of working.

If someone's offering you a free lunch, check for flies in the soup.

If there's a way to make a dollar, somebody will be sitting right on top of it. Oils wells and hot spring spas are the prime examples.

Moribund stultification has a way of showing up right at the wrong time.

If there's one reason any Government department sets up a fund, it's so every other department can point to it whenever someone comes aknockin.

The bigger a company, the slower it works. 

Mistakes always get passed down the ladder to get fixed.

If you are happy with your current world affairs, you have to accept all the footsteps that got you there, even the annoying ones.

Any potato in a famine is worth cooking.

'What goes around comes around', the number one slogan describing how credit cards work.

"Hmmm", the universal word signalling that something interesting has just happened in an experiment, or something didn't work right.

Nothing ever changes but the toys.

Nothing like a thrilling job at the drill press to keep your mind alive, alert, and ready to rock and roll at the bell at the end of the day.

When anybody gets exactly fifty percent in any course anywhere, I'm pretty sure we're all in agreement about what exactly happened there.

You have to laugh at adversity, it's the one thing adversity doesn't like.

If you build a better mouse trap the world will beat a path to your door is wrong. If you build a better mouse trap you at least now have something to sell.

If you can make it in the Ozarks you can make it anywhere.

Here's another truism of life, you don't want eggs or tomatoes hitting the floor.

It seems like the really good things always come along exactly at the point when you're in the least position to enjoy them.

If you can't duke em, nuke em, a rather time proven popular political ploy.

At any given time on the planet, the two things you can always count on are that taxes will go up and you will sell a flower or two in a country western bar.

If you can't laugh at adversity or yourself, you don't deserve to laugh at anything at all.

If you don't know the score, don't expect to score.

When the vase is empty, business is good.

If you freeze frame the planet at any given instant in time, and took a look at all the people working at a computer at that instant, probably a third of them will be trying to get the computer to do something it doesn't want to do.

In for a penny, in for the wad.

Inflexibility can be its own shooter of the foot no matter whose leg the foot is on.

Inside every person is another person waiting to tell them what they did wrong.

Their first official sale is an extremely exciting time in life for any aspiring young enchante'.

Nothing like a politically correct architect around when you specifically hadn't asked for one.

Isn't it amazing how fast a little grey lie can turn to black when your glasses are coated in bright rosy green.

Everyone has their own unique way of getting started.

It's amazing how quickly some people can turn your question right back at you, like you're the offending party.

It's passing strange is it not, that money inexorably migrates from the hands of the poor who need it the most, to the hands of the rich who need it the least. (John T.)

Some conventions keep mankind going.

We each make our distinctions, in each our own different way.

It costs a pretty penny in rent to be in a big mall. But the sales more than compensate, the principle upon which all big malls in the world have been founded and survive.

If there's a well in the desert, there's a tent on the sand somewhere nearby.

It seems to be an axiom of the hair dressing industry, that if something doesn't stink it can't be doing anything useful.

'The medium is the message'. Now just what the heck does that mean.

It's amazing how fast the mind can speculate on something once you give it something solid to run with.

It's called reverse marketing. If you can't knock the product, knock the company.

You can never tell in advance when someone's rising star will suddenly start to rise or how far it will ascend.

If it wasn't for Man's ability to rationalize, I don't know how the world would survive.

Everybody finds a job they can eventually handle.

They say that the uncertainty principle of modern quantum physics is one of the most intuitively difficult theories in all of modern physics to understand. When transposed into the world of computers, the uncertainty part becomes clear as a bell. If a computer isn’t working, is it the hardware, is it the software, is it the dummy at the keyboard.

No doubt about it, on some days the force is with you and on others you're just plain darn lucky.

Economics wins over substance every time.

No matter how fast you're going in how fast a car, sooner or later someone will go whizzing on by in a much nicer car.

Cause and effect may be boon or bane, but you sure have to admire the way the two stay so faithfully devoted to each other.

No matter where you spent most of you're life, the last two years of high school is where you're from.

One thing you can count on is that if shit hits a fan, it gets well spread around.

Not all dumb clucks have feathers.

Nothing blows a well planed day faster than a car battery that's as dead as a doornail.

Nothing buzzes up the new guys at an MLM rally more than the old guys standing around in front of everyone with pure golden rays radiating off their fillings.

Musicians and politicians are equally arousing to females. Something about the songs they sing.

'Have I got a deal for you', the number one thing you don't want to hear when it's coming in the direction of your money.

Nothing like living high off the hog when somebody else is paying the tab.

Notice how we always blame stupid inanimate objects for our stupid animate mistakes.

Nowadays the responsibility for dragging one's feet on the job has been taken over completely by municipal road crews.

One office is one headache, two offices is ten headaches.

You are never a hero in your own home town unless its about fifteen hundred population in size.

One thing leads to another is the primary direction of life.

Promised loan money often doesn't materialize because the promisor no longer has it to materialize. The number one risk whenever long term financial arrangements are involved.

Rain at the worst possible time, is one of those things in life that goes off like clockwork.

Seems like everything constantly hikes upward except tax refunds and the size of ice cream cones.

She wouldn't even let me talk to her boss about it. The perfect goalie secretary.

Table scraps, the number one favorite food of every animal on the planet.

In tight times, either the upper management gets the money and the rank and file get stiffed. Or the rank and file get the money and the upper management lives off their other assets.

The best inspirations on the planet often occur years after it's too late to do any good.

The brain is at least inexorable if not helpfully inevitable.

The closest thing to ham to ever hit a burger is probably the guy flipping the patties at a barbie.

The coin is constantly in the air.

Philosophy is the fine art of defining a language structure in order to discuss things about which they know nothing about.

The Emperor's new cloths works across all cultural barriers and boundaries.

The environmentalists have it all wrong about the corporate world. If it doesn't affect their wallet, corporations are all for the environment.

The fun part about ‘maybe' is that there are always lots of possibilities.

The general public is always on the better end of any kind of cross street commercial war going on, particularly when food or gasoline are on the line.

Who says it doesn't pay to have friends in high places.

The moving finger writes, and having writ moves on. Kind of sounds like a fourteenth century prediction of a computer printer.

The number one reason why so much about reality is so much illusion on the planet today, is that most people rely on someone else to call the shots. Religions are ‘the' case in point.

Everybody learns something new every day.

The one thing about the human race you can count on is the consistency of its sportsmen. If there's a chance of a catch, the likelihood is certain that a fishermen or two is already on the scene.

Sounds good if it's as good as it sounds.

The one thing you should never do when the cops are trying to look the other way is flaunt it at them.

Time can be inexorable, if not all that friendly.

What a difference a week makes.

Never form an opinion about something that you aren’t also prepared to change in a hurry down the road’. The secret creed that all scientists are required to sign but never tell anybody.

When you raise up a third world country, you have to expect every element of it to rise up at the same rate in the raising.

Whenever it's my turn at the trough, there's nothing left but turnips.

Women with child crave ice cream because the body wants magnesium. Men with TV sets crave junk food because the body wants to stay immobilized.

If there’s money to be made, somebody will always find a way to make the most of it.

Working for the Government, the number one place in the world for talent on the way up, on the way down, and just in between mellowing out for a while.

You can slide a lot farther on BS than on dry pavement makes its point to a certainty in some respects. Which is also the principle by which many professional consultants get by.

You have to admire the consistency of the tendency for at least someone to put sand in the works.

Nothing stops a smooth flowing day faster than a flat tire in the middle of a run.

The food nutritionists have it all wrong. The four basic food groups are actually 'Fuel food,' 'Fun food', 'Fake food', and 'Real food'.

You've got to love how well science works the odd time it actually works.

Whatever it is, if the Federalies aren't in on the action you can bet it's illegal.

You live, you learn, you sob.

If you think punk rock singers sound bad as a species, wait until you hear someone trying to sing punk to a karaoke machine.

You can't tell a crook by their cover.

When you’re the low man on the totem pole in any kind of deal, anything at all looks way better than nothing at all.

The east side of any city tends to have the more real people, who are less into the airs and pretenses of their status in life than the west side.

Absolutely no doubt about it, the absolute opposite of a honeymoon is a divorce.

No one in authority says, “We did it. We're sorry. What can we do to make amends”. Rather, everyone says, “We didn't do it, we had nothing to do with it, the matter is closed”, particularly true within the body politic and the military.

Nothing like a big bolt out of the blue to instantly get all your atoms spinning in the same direction.

The moving finger writs, and having writ breaks a nail.

The first one in on any business venture requiring capitol, always greases the works for more to follow.

The reason why the dot coms had experienced such a sudden meteoric rise, is that  everybody wanted in on the action, as is consistent with all known human behavior whenever the scent of money is involved.

There's nothing like a well made point to make a point.

Human spirit can't be vanquished. Sometimes it just takes a little kick in the pants to keep us reminded of what we are inside.

The one thing about the fates is that no matter how bad a blow they dealt you, they always seem to leave at least one hatchway left open to see how well you will eventually come out of it. 

If there's a bottom to feed on, guaranteed somebody will find a way to feed there.

The number one Bubba winter job on the planet is to hook up a snow plow to the front of a pickup and push snow around all winter.

The one thing that's true on this planet, if something needs to get done in a hurry, don't give it to the politicians to handle.

Sometimes 'better safe than sorry' jumps right out at you and makes its point without even waiting for an invite.

Good old democracy, dammed if it does and dammed if it doesn't.

When looking for a nice place to rent that you can afford, look for someone looking for a caretaker.

It’s funny how fast a tiny little Murphy miscue can sometimes escalate into a big time loss of time and money.

New employees learn something new every day.

The difference between ultimate success and ultimate failure is motivation. If the will is there, and the desire to succeed is sufficiently present, then the motivation will come of its own accord and the deed will get done eventually against all odds.

Sometimes you can’t lose for winning.

When God said, 'go forth and multiply', evidently dandelions were the only ones that got the message, because dandelions are everywhere. For sheer survival gall, dandelions own the franchise hands down. 

Out of every bad there's a good.

The number one Bubba summer job is to fill up the back of the pickup with bootleg cargo and truck it someplace.

If you’re going to go out there and carrot at the end of a stick somebody, make sure it’s a big one.

The real reason dog's lick their master's face so frantically coming through the door every night, is to try and freshen them up after a hard day at work.

It's amazing what you can be sold when you don't know the market.

If you don't beat the bushes, you don't get the berries is certainly a truism. But on the other hand it in no way guarantees there are berries to be gotten.

I’ve got so many irons in the fire I don’t which one to burn myself with.

Any time you see an official vehicle around and your dog is on the loose, the aspects will be ominous.

Cause confirms itself in effect and you end up the better for it.

No doubt about it, kids have a completely different take on life than adults. No doubt part of their endearing innocence.

Jersey numbers never change, just the locations of the games.

The problem with a one horse rodeo is that if you're bucking the bronco you can't be roping a steer.

Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones still looks like he just stuck his finger in a light socket after all these years.

In any nuclear family, the Mother is the proton who is in charge. The Father is the neutron who can't do anything without asking first. And the kids are the electrons flying around all over the place.

You’ve got to love people's personal touches, that just won't let personalities stay out of the way of things that need to get done in a hurry.

Sometimes Murphy can really tick you off.

The one thing you definitely don't want with computers sitting around all over the place, is dust flying around all over the place.

Doesn’t matter how stupid or smart you are, it doesn’t take long to figure out when there’s a really good thing going on.

A brain eraser, like taking a day off, is that which you do to relax and clear out all the stress and cobwebs you get from that which you are supposed to be doing.

Urinals are the number one social equalizer on the planet.

A company buys a TV add for only one of two reasons. They're either looking for money. Or, they have an excess of money and are looking for a way to burn it off constructively instead of giving it to the National Revenue Association.

Politicians for brains. Please don’t ever try and call me that.

Governments have a payment policy which was about as reverse perverse as anything you can imagine. Hold the check until you go bankrupt, then send it the next day.

Telephone Companies, unlike the sports spread, play no favourites when the bill is due.

If life is anything, it at least strives for consistency. It's compelling amazing how little people actually change over the years.

I don't think anything in the world explodes quite as fast inside your head as coming out from somewhere and discovering that your car has been stolen.

Nothing like having a few years of TV production under your belt to know exactly what to do when a Dilbert boss comes around.

Bills in the mail travel at the speed of light. Checks travel an inch a day.